" I decided that I cried my last tears...Yesterday"- Mary Mary
I am at the "throwing in the towel" stage of dating. I am really tired of meeting men only to be disappointed. I do not think my standards are high at all, in fact I do not have a list of what he needs to be. I have no problem with meeting men, most are attracted to me based on the physical but soon fall in love with my personality (I hope). Unlike many, I can cook from scratch( for real southern cooking)cut up a chicken, no boxes or can goods at my house. If I can't make his favorite dish, I have no problem getting the recipe from Mom or Auntie. I love sports and actually know what is going on. I am a girly Southern girl...and really should have lived during the 50's (minus the black oppression).
So the issue I have is that men do not know how to date me. Seems as all they want to do is call and text and that does not hold my attention. What happen to asking a woman out, and actually planning a date? Do men just not do this anymore? This is what I want...to be courted. I want to put on my pretty dress and 5 inch heel( or kitten if he happens to be short), get dolled up and answer the door and not have to think. I want him to put effort into his clothes, choice of music he plays in the car,and where he takes me to. This is what my son's father did...this is what I am use to. This is what men in the past have done...this is what my soul needs. I want this consistently. Why do men feel they can take you on one date and that be it? Or that if they call or text you that is enough? After a week if you have not asked me out or made plans, I am ready to say DEUCES! Ladies tell me am I unreasonable? Is it wrong to expect a guy that professes he is interested in you, to actually act like it. I know I am high maintenance....but I guarantee he will get so much more in return.
Why do our men not know how to properly date? Why do they not know all it takes is planning and effort to really impress us. We are really that simple. Aside from golddiggers, and sex fiends...all we want is attention, as in undivided attention. Is effort just not that important. Do women not require this? Are they afraid to ask? I am tired of staring into space thinking is he not going to ask me out? Twiddling my thumbs and waiting, wondering what is the point. So my solution is to stop answering my phone and responding to texts, or better yet just give out my home phone (bet someone will still try to text a landline). Maybe he will get the hint. Maybe I will have to start dating men close to 50 (hypothetically)...because 35-45 year old men do not get it, or me. I have never had this problem before, shoot guys use to want to impress me. I guess they think showing up is enough, or would rather hang with other men than women...i.e. the average Greek man who spends 4-5 days out of the week with his frat. (yes, I have my thoughts on this type) How can you constantly "claim" to like me or want to date me and never ask me out?? Shouldn't your goal be to make me fall in love? Do they need to go back and watch Pepe le Pew, Popeye, or shoot even Mickey Mouse?
You already know "residential dating" is out the question...it is just not right. So tales of a Pretty Brown Girl in cute heels resorts to watching Law & Order and calling it a night.
Am I asking too much? Is being courted a thing of the past? I refuse to give in and be dated...(gasp) COMMOM! There is nothing about me that is common so if texting is the way….I will pass.
Great article! You are beautiful and special and should have your heart's desire. Hang in there; I do believe there are good men out there and the perfect one for you. May God be with you in all your journeys and may your next blog be black against a light background for the AARP crowd.
ReplyDeleteNo, you're not asking too much, but I do believe courting is a thing of the past. I think it's why some women have felt compelled to "settle" with any and everything old dude is handing out...
ReplyDeleteI've never dated. I've only been in courtships. I think what makes the difference for me is that I make those expectations and preferences known up front. Those who can hang, do. Those who can not, are left alone. LOL
I posted a video on YouTube recently that basically expressed the same sentiment. I am 25 and I've dated from 25 to 45 and had much of the same experience. At first of course I thought it was me, I tried switching game with men that approach me, but it all turns out the same. I think most men just don't care and we are outnumbered by far too many women who don't mind. So, us that do have to wait for the few and far between that still have old school values about dating. I have said the EXACT same thing are you, i.e. " I just want to have to look cute and be ready on time" and "I should have been born in the 50's" Good Luck Sis!
ReplyDeleteIt seems to be. I don't think that you're asking too much at all! I guess somewhere along the line they have dealt with other women who thought that this was ok and never called them on it. I've come to the conclusion that's it's probably going to be me, myself and I in the long run.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you seemed too desperate or needy for the gentleman. Or just maybe he's courting someone and not interested in you... SMH
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